10 April 2006

Angry

I would’ve posted this last night, but the internet went down. I’m not going to bother editing it, so just read it like it was posted in the nighttime.

I threw my first miniature across the room today. I've been trying to get my first squad of Battle Sisters together, but it is terribly frustrating. My glue isn't working to hold the miniatures together. I've tried using more glue, less glue, heated glue, and everything else I can think of to keep the metal parts attached to other metal parts and whole minis attached to bases. The glue just won't hold the damned things together. So in a fit of frustration I threw a mini across the room this morning. I also threw the same mini down on the desk this evening, as it has been extremely frustrating to work with and acts a ringleader for the others to rebel against their bonds. Just thinking about it makes me boil. This predicament brings a couple of things to mind.

First, anger issues. They warned us when we left Iraq that we might face anger issues when we got home and to be extra careful about our tempers. Basically, the whole don't beat your wife, kids, or dogs speech. I didn't think much of it as I've always been a pretty laid-back individual. Since I've been home, though, I am always in a foul mood. It's like when you cook Ramen Noodles and the pot of water is boiling and the lid rattles around on the pot. My lid is always rattling. I don't take it out on my wife or dogs because I am at least able to recognize it and shut myself down when I'm angry, but throwing a mini across the room when I'm alone doesn't seem like normal behavior. From talking with the other guys in my unit I'm not the only one affected by this post-traumatic stress disorder.

Second, I'm not very excited about my Witch Hunter army. So far it has just been a frustrating project. I still enjoy working with the Skaven and getting them assembled and painted, but when I turn to work on the Witch Hunters I just get apathetic. I don't know why. The concept is still interesting to me and the miniatures are pretty cool, but I'm just not excited like I used to be. Even when I go to Hobbytown I browse the Witch Hunters a little, but then I go and look at all of the Ork stuff. I'm thinking about switching over and doing an Ork army instead. My problem with switching is that it feels like giving up for no good reason. It's not like the Witch Hunters personally offended me and I vowed to have my revenge by not collecting them anymore. I just woke up one day unenthused by them. I am going to paint this one squad that I have before I make any lasting decisions. If I end up having a good time painting them up, I'll probably stick with it, finish up the army, and then move on to Orks. If it's an awful chore for me, I'll probably scrap it right now and start my Ork army first. Maybe I'll come back around to Witch Hunters once I get my Ork jones out of the way. I wonder if every wargamer goes through this.

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